witty one liners about lifezoologist engineer inventions
US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." A joke could make someone crack up one day and have no effect the next day. 32. 80 Of The Best One Liners About Life To Make You Smile - Quote Flick Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." You know what your boss was trying to say? 83.86 % / 41 votes. It was here first." A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Take a scroll through these inspirational quotes. 2. What ELLE Editors Are Gifting Their Moms for Mother's Day 2023 This website uses cookies to improve your experience. The world owes you nothing. My friends keep pressuring me to go spelunking, so I finally caved. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame Unknown, 54 Change the game, dont let the game change you. Macklemore There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice. Shad Helmstetter, 55. A good ice breaker joke tells your audience that youre charming and funny, someone theyll enjoy talking to as much as their best friend. Albert Einstein, 52. Your life is your message. Gandhi, 13. Never mind, I shouldnt spread it. (Best Life), 5) Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. "Benjamin Franklin, 30. 64 Funny Quotes About Life That Are Painfully Accurate It's inevitable that people will feel awkward trying to make small talk when a loved one dies. Your email address will not be published. "Betty White, 61. .css-2ahkpt{display:block;font-family:Brandon,Helvetica,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.5rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-2ahkpt:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.375rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 48rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}Julianne Hough Looks Fierce in a Naked Dress, Leann Rimes Shares Video Montage for Anniversary, Crazy Rules 'Jeopardy' Contestants Have to Follow, Watch Kelly Clarkson's Cover of Taylor Swift Song. Intelligence is like an underwear. So weve included a mix of what we think are the best one-line quotes about life; uplifting, witty, and smart. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. "Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. 180 Kindness Quotes to Inspire You To Always Be Kind, 51 When You Feel Like Giving Up Quotes To Motivate You, Top 80 Trent Shelton Quotes On Love, Life And Loyalty. Take my advice Im not using it. Unknown, 71. The wife says that yes, he could. 90. Did you know that there are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones? 29. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesnt want. ~ William Binger, The male is a domestic animal who, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. ~ Jilly Cooper, Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. ~ Maryon Pearson, Behind every successful man is an exhausted woman., I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported. ~ Mae West, My husband and I divorced over religious differences. These cookies do not store any personal information. Jokes are funny and everyone enjoys laughter, and those seem like good reasons to present you with some great one-liners. We hope you enjoy this website. Because seven eight nine. Do not underestimate your abilities. 30+ Really Funny One Liners! | The Humor Zone 101 Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh - Hilarious Quotes About Life When we do it or inspire it in others, it can feel like magic, and like magic, laughter can be similarly mysterious and elusive. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. God must love stupid people because he made so many of them., 66. I'd never let my children watch the orchestra because there's too much sax and violins. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off. So brunettes can remember them. 95. How many paranoid people does it take to change a light bulb? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. We recommend our users to update the browser. -, "Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart." If you don't want me to tell you what I really think, you'd best refrain from asking for my opinion. Because they have two left feet. Now you say, Control freak who?. 71: One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday - eight hours. Reality is wrong, dreams are for real. Tupac, 65 Positive Aging Quotes About Getting Older Gracefully, 65 Incredible Quotes About Taking Chances, 120 Fascinating Wise Quotes That Will Grow Your Mind, 30 Funny Birthday Quotes And Wishes For A Card Or Message. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! "Mark Twain, 69. Whos there? When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. 64. In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. (PS A truly energizing icebreaker joke is a great way to open up a team building event or activity and help everyone enter the right mindset to participate in the fun. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? I did an original sin. "I'm not offended by blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb. Yes! (Ex: My friend took me to what he said was an escape room. Tact is for those who arent funny enough for sarcasm. The coach replied, "You're standing too close to the ball after you've hit it.". Your email address will not be published. He had skeletons in his closet. 9. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin, 50. - 101 funny one-liners - Best knock-knock jokes for kids. What has five toes but isn't your foot? And I'm not sure about the universe. Best ATS Software Terms and Conditions Did you enjoy these cleaver quotes and sayings? Getting paid to sleep thats my dream job. Anonymous, 43. I changed my password to "incorrect". 16. Death is peaceful. "Life is short. We recommend our users to update the browser. "The older you get, the better you get. I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. Phyllis Diller, 82. A large fortune.
